Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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