We got so high we made milksteak
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
