My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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