you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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