you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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