you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
