I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
