I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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