Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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