I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
