So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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