Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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