North Korea, Best Korea!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
