It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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