you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This toilet bowl is my home.
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