If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
