new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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