You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
