i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Boobs speak an international language.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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