If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
