Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
