My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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