worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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