just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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