Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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