i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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