Say something about gay babies.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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