Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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