I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
