You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
