the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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