There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
