I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
