So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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