he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
