We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am midnight drunk by noon
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
