the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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