$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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