so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
and you fell through a lawn chair
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
he high fived his dick after we had sex
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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