so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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