guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He? As in you personified your dick?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
