everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
