What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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