Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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