you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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