Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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