No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
