I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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