You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
