Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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