is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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